Saturday, December 27, 2014

I gather you all together today to tell you the story of Mike Hansen, A friend, roommate and general pain in my tuchas but a great person who made me laugh and cry but over all made me think.

I met Mike when a friend of mine Stuart, found out I was about to be homeless and asked if I would like to stay at his family home in Bakersfield which they were getting ready to sell.  Oh how I jumped at the chance to move back to a town I tried so hard to leave 3 decades earlier. The one condition was it came with a built in roommate, Mike, and oh by the way he has a few idiosyncrasies. I thought what the hell I have a few idiosyncrasies (ok a lot) so we will be fine. Little did I know that this 67 year old, tall skinny man who was hard of hearing and was a Lutheran would mesh with a 58 year old overweight Jewish woman would get along so well, well most of the time.

I never got to know much of Mike's background because he was a man of few words. I did find out he was  in the Army around the time of Vietnam but was stateside. He loved his mom but had some challenges with his dad. He was an only child. What I found interesting was he loved classical music, old musical electronic gadgets and art. He had no interest in learning computers. cell phones, stove or any new fangled thing that most of us would think would make life easier.

Now, I found out his love of art was not just because he loved it but he was also an artist. He did not talk much to me about his work but the little that I saw I liked. Kind of Impressionistic, kind of Modern his work was as eclectic as he was. I feel bad I did not press him in doing more work because his face lit up when talking about painting. As much as he loved art his love of books and history could have rivaled it. Many days Mike would come in from a day of reading at Barnes and Noble and excitedly tell me his new acquisition which would go through one ear and out the other because well history was not my forte but I liked to see him excited about something.

Mike worked as a part time busboy - pizza carrier at one of the Rusty's  pizza. Though he had social security coming in he wanted to work. He talked for months about the minimum wage increase and what he wanted to do with it.  He had such great work ethic, Never late, worked hard and did not complain other than his feet hurt at the end of the night. I never heard him talk smack about his co-workers and I found out much later how his co-workers felt about him.

His biggest idiosyncrasy was his eating habits. Mike loved certain restaurants and Tina Marie's was his favorite. He would go just about every morning to get his meal. The waitresses knew him so well that they would ask if he wanted the breakfast or lunch usual. What he liked was not even on the menu though we joked that as often as he went there, there should be a Mike's special on the menu. At night he also had "the usual".  Two to three bowls of Raisin Brand and regular milk. By the end of the week there would be boxes of empty cereal boxes and milk contains which brings me to the point he did not clean. He did not clean at all. I could empty the trash and but the bags in front of the door and he would walk around it. On his side to be honest I don't think it was intentional. Many years ago he had a brain aneurysm that I believe took away some of his cognitive ability. When I asked him to empty the trash he would ( after several attempts). Though he did not clean he was considerate and always asked and paid for items I had if cereal did not fill him up. He always checked in with me when he got home and always stated " he was off to see the wizard" when he left for work.

You never know a person until they are sick. Mike rarely was sick with a cold and other than the normal aches and pains and a cold or two he always made it to work and had energy to go out for meals and to find a good book. About three months ago, Mike stated his back was hurting and ended up sleeping on the floor in the living room. After some time though he began to think he needed a bed. A beautiful new bed was delivered and I would find him still sleeping on the floor. He said the floor was harder than the bed so I convinced him to return the bed for a firmer one. Though the bed was better, he found the floor in my bedroom was more comfortable, He would come home from work we would talk about his day and what we were going to do when the house sold. and then he would fall asleep on the floor in my room as I worked on my computer or watched TV.

As the weeks progressed, I noticed Mike went from eating cereal to eating yogurt, He was eating so much yogurt the corner store called him Yogurt man. He also started telling me how his stomach was hurting and how tired he was. Since he still was working we both thought it would pass. On his days off he would stay in bed barely being able to move. He would come in and lay on my floor in pain but always talked about the future. We had even gotten to the point that we would move in together if I would clean and do laundry. He finally told his work he needed a leave of absence till he felt better. He talked more about his past and as he was getting sicker how he was afraid of being alone. I don't think it was my floor he wanted, I thinks he just wanted to know someone was there.

Four weeks ago Stuart and I took him to the ER. He was at the point he could barely make it to the table and then walk the three feet to get water to make tea. I made sure he was drinking enough but could not get him to eat. After nine hours in the ER and a IV of fluids he was release. He promised Stuart and I that if he did not feel better by Monday he would call his doctor. On Tuesday he made his appointment. Little did we know he would not be returning to the house. When it was getting late and he wasn't home I  called the doctor's office and they told me he was taken to the hospital.

The next couple of days Mike went through a ton of tests. First the doctor thought he had cirrhosis of the liver but being he did not drink I thought it was odd. They pulled over 14 liters of liquid from his abdomen over a week or so but he wasn't feeling  better, I called him three times a day to see if he was eating, he was but not much. He wanted orange sherbet or strawberry ice cream and little else. We found out a few days later that Mike had pancreatic cancer the highest cancer markers this doctor had ever seen. He was given 3 months to live, he lasted another 10 days. The last thing he ate was strawberry ice cream and it left a smile on his face.

What struck me the most during Mikes last days was how much he was loved. We told his co-workers, the waitresses, the mail person,  his best friend and his storage locker people and they were hit hard. They told us stories on how he talked about me and Stuart and how much they loved him. At the end many of his co-workers were there reading Christmas stories and holding his hand though he was on a respirator and in a coma. His friend called from out of town and we put the phone to his ears for him to say goodbye. The time came where a decision had to be made to let him go. He was taken off the respirator in a room filled by his friends. Twelve hours later Mike passed peacefully off this earth.

I miss Mike. I miss his eating habits, his telling me of his day and his inability to work just about any gadget. Most of all I miss him as a friend and roommate. What I do believe he is finally at peace, probably eating cereal with the great Oz and feeling at peace. You were a good roommate and a good friend. Rest in peace Mike, you certainly deserve it!

1 comment:

  1. What a blessing you were to each others' lives, Judith. I'm sure Mike IS resting in peace. Thank you for sharing this story about him. xoA

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